Codpast The Original Codography 2009

Cod Pieces are:
Bob Marlin (Lead Wailings) 
Roshti Von Swordfischer (quayboards and fins) 
Hal Abbott (sea bass)  
Brine Sturgeon (guitarfish)
Dangerous Dave Blackfish (rums and percuttlefish)

The Story So Far...
Cod Gave Rock and Rock and Roll To You.
Long ago in a previous incarnation in the lost millenniums of Battercia (1) a group of fishlike musicians (2) were making some random noises in the same place. Unknowingly they had invented "Rock Music". Realising that they were the band Cod they instantly began recording concept albums. Epics such as “Rubbery Sole” Fish You Were Here "In Search Of Plaice” (3), “The Lady in Red Mullet “and “The Whitebait Album” flowed effortlessly from their majestic fins. In search of an audience the musicians set sail across the treacherous Parallel Sea. All at once “Tragedy” by the Bee Gees struck their little vessel which sustained mighty damage and was finally capsized after being struck by a disastrous “new wave”.  All swam for their lives. In amongst the wreckage bobbed hundreds of unmarked white label tapes and LPs. Thus it was that Rock Music was cast adrift in the open sea with no copy right protection whatsoever and the fishy tales of Cod floated in to myth and legend. It would be many millennia before the intrepid band was finally re-united and the true origins of popular music were revealed.
Frozen Fish
The scene shifts to the summer of 1974. During Rick Wakemans spectacular "King Arthur on Ice" concert at Wembley Arena, massive stylophone vibrations disturb a section of the Earth's crust. As the last giant bouncy castle is removed scientists and cleaning ladies alike are astounded to discover two figures suspended in the melting perma frost beneath the stage (where they had lain since the dawn of prog). These are rumoured to be the long dormant remains of Brine Sturgeon and Bob Marlin. Unaltered except in age and appearance the partially thawed band members, had suffered only minor physical deterioration, mostly male pattern balding and middle-aged spread Meanwhile the whereabouts of Roshti Von Swordfischer, Dangerous Dave Blackfish and Hall Abbott remain a mystery.
Self-Medicating Mystic
First to recognise the significance of this astounding find was Cornish Pistic RG Bhagee. (Aka Ron Pilchard) Bhagee preached enlightenment through the practice of Transcendental Medication or Tm. (4) Asking from his followers only for the cash to buy a few lunchtime sherbets the Guru held daily devotional sessions at his “Ashram"(The Pope and Cauliflower nr St Buryani). After a few The Master would often predict the return of Cod, a "pschyeprog" band steeped in legend who would “ f******g  pish all over all this other sh*t  thash around at the moment. W*****S".
Cod Pieces
Bhagee realised that if he could locate the missing musicians and put the band back together it' had to be worth a few pints at least. The self-medicating mystic quickly seized his opportunity and claiming salvage rights had Marlin and Sturgeon stashed in the cold storage section of a major department store where he occasionally crashed.  Sadly, after a particularly vicious three-day devotional session Bhagee completely forgot where he had left the two Cod peices.  Hence, they remained unopened until 1994, when they were accidentally defrosted as students attempting to steal some arctic rolls failed to close the fridge door properly. (obviously).
Instant Chicken Karma
They were soon revived and (with a little help from some other odd fish) quickly released their mind expanding work "Instant Chicken Karma” However the album despite being (according to Marlin and Sturgeon) "utterly brilliant" lacked (according to some bloke in the pub) " the resonating sonority that (could) only be supplied by their still missing compatriots". To make dark matters worse the band had fallen once again under the evil influence of RG Bhagee and Tm. The self -refreshing sherbet shaman had by now appointed himself Cod Father and was claiming to have written all their best songs. Meanwhile Sturgeons behaviour had become increasingly erratic. During yet another attempt to reach "Beervana"(5) a floating beard had appeared to the befuddled Brine and told him that the band’s music was" too commercial man" and that They had "sold out to the man, maan".
Cod Battered
Fearing that the album may become popular and even make a few quid the guitar fish had insisted that only one "Masterplaice" copy was ever made. This was to be played only for the “enlightened ears" of other Tm devotees. Worse was yet to come. Another (really annoying) bloke down the pub was now claiming that Bhagee had not only written all of the songs on the album but had also "done all of Brine's guitar solos whilst teaching Bob how to sing". Finally, one foggy night during the day and (despite massive) security precautions the lone CD had mysteriously disappeared from Sturgeons coat that he had left in the pub along with Cida Al Bhagee and his keys. Both were never to be seen again. (he found the keys under the table the next day)
Battered by this double blow the cod pieces drifted apart leaving only Marlin and Sturgeon once again bobbing perilously in the vast and uncharted Parallel Sea.
The Greatest Shoal on Earth
Blindingly, fate was to lend a hand. After many years of aimlessly drifting guitar solos Marlin and Sturgeon had fetched up on the mythical Isle of Platts Eyot. (Quite near the even more mythical Isle Of eel pie).  Unbeknown to them it was the home to the 500th incarnation of Hal Abbot who had set up Waterratt a mighty citadel and rehearsal studio there. The virtuoso freshwater bass player immediately recognised the washed-up musos as his old muckers from a previous life.  Plied with alcohol and subjected to a series of exaggerated musical claims Hal was soon persuaded to leave his pregnant wife and two hundred sickly babies to re- join a resurgent Cod. (The bit about the wife and babies is not true)
Dog and Bone
Incredibly, it was to be only a matter of days before Dangerous Dave Blackfish was again sighted.  He had been patrolling the murky depths of The Sea of Batter for many centuries but was easily tempted into a large tank baited with tea and roll ups. Realising that they now had two drummers (ouch) Marlin decided to emulate his great hero Fillet 0 Collins (out of Genesfish) give up the sticks and take the mic. It was Blackfish who told Brine of an astonishing device of the modern age called the “Dog and Bone" which could be used to contact people across the great divide. Using this new age miracle Quayboard maestro and multi- instrumentalist Von Swordfischer was "given a bell" upon which he returned across the Sea Of Atlanticus and back into the fold to complete the classic line up. In the words of Swordfischer " the members of Cod (had finally) found their channels of destiny leading to their present incarnation of the 21st millennium to bring forth their mighty Codesque sonorities to its lightly dozing public.
1) (pronounced Bat- tur- see-ah)
2)  (It should be noted that when the band are described as "Fish Like" this is not to say that they are like Fish out of Marillion
3) Roshti's room was always very untidy, and he was forever losing his pet plaice Stacia providing him with the inspiration for "In Search Of   Plaice" and “Fish You Were Here” (last time I looked). 
  Interestingly enough Bob Marlin’s “3 Second Memory” was inspired by his goldfish “Keef”
4) Transcendental Medication or Tm: that is allowing the mind and body to wander free after several pints of strong cider or other available stimulants.  
    Manuscripts of these ancient teachings had been found in a *tramp who had washed up on the shore at Rottingdean in the 1860’s. The secret knowledge had been passed from bottle to bottle ever since and had fallen (literally)          into the hands of Pilchard at the 1957 Norbiton Beer Festival. Saying the same thing over and over again in the form of a “Rantra” forms an integral part of this discipline as does repetition. Did I already say that? 
    The practice is more fully explained in Sturgeon’s seminal "The Incoherent Ramblings of RG Bhagee" and  the sequel. “Tm Gentlemen please” The Further Rantings of RG Bhagee. 
 5)  Beervana" the highest state of Tm. to finally clear the mind of all rational thought.                 
    * Some claim that the washed-up tramp was in fact Sturgeon who after inventing Tm had then achieved “Beervana” and promptly forgotten all about it